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What is a MOM?

A MOM is different than a mom, although a person can be both. A mom is shortened version of the word mother, but a MOM is a Master of Multi-tasking. This has never been more true if you have multiple children, especially if you have toddlers. May I say toddlers who have just learned to walk seem to move with lightning speed and tend to get into everything! Maybe it’s because they have recently discovered that they can and now want to explore the world around them. Of course this is only natural, but if you are trying to watch them, cook, take care of chores, answer the phone (hi mom, how are you, yes she is wearing the “I get it from my Granny” outfit you bought her, and I was just getting ready to send a few pictures of her in it to you), it can feel as though you have to quickly morph into a humanoid version of an octopus, and in some cases, you just might have to.

MOMs can be employed outside the home, but they can also be SAHMs (stay at home moms). Yes, staying at home is a job within itself. If you disagree, you probably haven’t done it at all or for any significant amount of time. One of the main differences though, is when you have a job outside of the home, you have a set schedule or at the very least are usually off sometimes. When you’re stay at home, you’re constantly at work and unless you have some help like babysitters, nannies, etcetera, you are on #TeamNoDaysOff.

Whether you work inside or outside of the home, a MOM has several tasks to juggle at any given moment. MOMs have to deal with meal planning, chores (laundry, house cleaning, dishes, etc), after-school activities, sports, homework, styling hair, and so much more. Whatever combinations you are dealing with, having multiple children increases the level of difficulty, especially when they are in different activities and/or schools. For those of you who are described in the latter, bless you, you are warriors who have invisible stripes. Wear your stripes with pride because I applaud you, sincerely!

The MUST have laundry item I never knew I needed

Whether you are the person creating the dirty laundry or washing it, you should know that it multiplies rather quickly. *sigh* That reminds me I have a few loads to do myself. Anyhow, I came across an item that caught my attention, but I was extremely skeptical about the need for it. Who in the world would need a brush for stains and why? (Yes, I realize the most obvious answer as to why would be stains.) In my mind, I thought if I really needed this, why not just get a toothbrush? Let’s think about it, they can be purchased rather cheaply, and they’re extremely versatile. They’re used to clean tiny surfaces such as tile grout, smooth and lay down baby hairs and edges, and of course brushing teeth.

I ended up getting one, I honestly can’t remember what closed the deal for me, but I’m definitely glad I did! It was awesome at getting stains out of laundry AND it removed stains that were in my upholstered chairs. I previously tried with a toothbrush and it partially removed the stains, but this stain brush fully completed the mission. I was surprised how well it removed the stains, especially considering how soft the bristles are.

The brush is similar to David and the stains are like Goliath, because the brush is rather small but it stands up with the big boys and defeats them. If you are interested in purchasing the stain brush or learning more, you’ll find it at https://amzn.to/3a4SYCK.

Your Ex – LTSG

What is LTSG? Well it is an acronym for Letting That Stuff Go or if you’re feeling really spicy or pissed off, Letting That Sh*t Go.

What specifically needs to be let go? That answer really depends on YOU. It could be things that occurred in your relationship, the fact that it did not work out, the fact that they moved on without you, the fact that they are lacking in their responsibilities, etc.

How many times have you said or heard someone say “you look just like your father (or mother)”? If you look at your child and they remind you of a person you seriously dislike, hate, or otherwise have disdain for, do you believe it will have an impact on your relationship with your child? If you say no, maybe you just don’t realize it, but trust me it does. I’ve been on both sides of this fence, so I can speak from experience.

First, let me give you a little background to explain. My parents were married for a few years before I was born. My mom temporarily stopped working in order to become a SAHM (stay at home mom). Fast forward a few years, he had a mistress whom he would regularly meet up with in a neighborhood bar that was less than a block away. Really dad, wth??? My mother found out, confronted them both, etc. She did not play and she was an investigator; not by profession, but because she had the skills to find out anything she wanted or needed to know. Back then there was no internet, social media, etc.

I strongly favored my dad, not in a manly way either. Yes, I could hear the jokes formulating in your minds lol. I favored him as in there was no doubt he provided half of my genetic makeup. When he pissed off my mother, he either didn’t stay or he was not around because he was out “working late” or whatever other excuse he gave. Who was around??? Me, looking like him. She used to take her anger for him out on me sometimes, and I don’t even think she realized it. Even when I was little, I was very observant and paid attention. In my mind, I even chose sides, but I never said anything. When I was growing up, that was considered grown people talk and it could’ve been considered disrespectful if I spoke on it. More importantly though, I didn’t want my mother to feel bad about it, well anymore than she already was due to the circumstances.

I knew my mother well and new when to get out of her way, oh, dad made her mad, time to go outside and play. I didn’t want to become a casualty of that war, the one where she found any reason to get upset with me because I was an easy nearby target for her anger. Now, I know how this may sound. Some of you may be wondering what type of mother did I have, your imagination may even be running wild wondering what happened to me. Don’t let your mind stray too far, I will reveal more later in a different post, because I really don’t want to go far off topic on this particular post. Let’s just say, my childhood would’ve gone a lot smoother if she was able to LTSG. Realistically though, how could she since he was still living inside the home and next to her in bed on the nights he was actually there?

On the flip side, my daughter’s father and I did not work out, which I was actually fine with. I was, however, upset for all of the lies and lack of taking responsibility that I basically was utterly repulsed by his existence. Yes, it was that strong if not stronger. I was in love with my baby though, so beautiful, sweet, and angelic. It wasn’t until she was a toddler when she really made facial expressions that looked exactly like him. Imagine looking at your little angel and being flashed of a reminder of the devil. Yes I really detested him. I felt the shift inside of me, how my mind and body changed when my mind went from my baby to her father. I made a mental promise to myself that I would never allow my feelings for him affect my baby, she was totally innocent in the entire situation.

What could I possibly do to keep my promise considering how strong my negative feelings were for him? I had to LTSG, which was very difficult for me to do. I worked really hard to free my mind, heart, and soul of the hurt, pain, and anger. Although I didn’t forget, I focused on the fact that we created a beautiful baby and she was way more important to me than any grudge I had for his shenanigans. I vowed to change the things I disliked growing up, by not continuing them with my child.

If you read this and it resonates with you to the point that you realize that on some level your children have been affected by things you may have been holding onto, don’t fret. We all make mistakes, some of which we are not always so easily seen. You can only move forward starting now, with a new outlook and perspective. Make a vow to be diligent in not allowing these things to affect your children because they can impact your relationship with them.

LTSG also can be very healing? It is healing because it helps to remove or at the very least reduce the stress, anger, resentment, or any other feelings that otherwise have a negative affect on your mind, body, and overall well being. Life in general can be stressful at times and it is important to release as much of the negativity as possible. It can manifest many ways inside the body through disease, weight gain, weight loss, hair loss, etc. Ultimately, it can even lead to death. Have you ever heard the phrase “stress can kill you”? Well, it can.

Your babies need you, regardless of their ages, because they’ll always be your babies. Their needs may change and they may not need you to the same extent they once did, but they still need you. One of the biggest concerns I had as a single parent was what if something happened to me, who would take care of my baby. In a perfect world, I would have picked my mother, who completely transformed as a grandmother. She was all about my baby, but she unfortunately passed away from cancer when my baby was a toddler. I couldn’t pick my father, he wasn’t responsible enough and had too many issues to overcome, even now to this day.

LTSG because it is time. Time to stop that emotional baggage from holding you back, from affecting relationships, and from causing stress to your mind, body, and soul. You deserve to truly be happy, so you have to move on from all of that dead weight by letting it go.

You’re Failing

Don’t let the title fool you, I’m not calling you a failure, maybe there was time when you thought that about yourself. Have you ever found yourself in a situation as a parent and doubted yourself because you didn’t do something perfectly or maybe even completely screwed it up? If you said no, congratulations you’re in the minority! I can recall doing things and making decisions and questioning whether I was making the best choices possible. A lot of times I was so on point I did an internal victory dance, others I almost sat myself in a time out to reflect on my own thoughts. P.S. I don’t actually do time outs, it came to mind because I watched an episode of Supernanny not too long ago.

No parent is perfect, how can you be when we as individuals are all imperfect? We all make mistakes, even in parenting, however just like in basketball, when you miss a shot you also have a chance to rebound, usually anyway. (Forgive the sports reference, I used to be a tomboy.)

My mother’s version of a rebound when I was growing up was a phrase I heard several times. Whenever I was punished for something she believed I was guilty of, then was later proven to be innocent, I heard these words or something similar: “Although you didn’t do this, consider that for whatever you may have gotten away with that I don’t know about.” That used to irritate me as a child, so there were times when I would do something to earn that punishment, of course without her knowing. If she would’ve found out, I wouldn’t have received a credit for the wrongful punishment, that only covered unknown offenses, not future ones lol. She definitely didn’t play around. I’ll discuss more about my mother later in future posts. I broke the cycle on that and didn’t adopt that into my parenting style.

Why did I say cycle? Well, there are patterns that we learn by seeing them repeated, whether good or bad. How many times have you seen or heard of people growing up in an environment that they felt was toxic and then ended up replicating that same environment as an adult? Don’t worry, this is merely being used as an example. There were things growing up that I did not like, so I chose not to implement them in my parenting. Does this mean I considered my mother as a failure for doing things that I did not like? No, not at all.

Parenting is a learning experience and it is a real job. You can read all of the books, manuals, etc and you will never know everything. Sorry, but it’s the truth. How many times have you had a job and have gone through extensive training only to find out that when you are actually doing the job, a lot of the information presented to you was either inaccurate, obsolete, or was completely inapplicable in the real world? I have had multiple customer service based jobs where there were hours upon hours of training on procedure XYZ, only to hit the floor and be told disregard the training, we don’t do X or Z, we do Y sometimes and 123. So now I’m left trying to unlearn that while relearning the new stuff. On the bright side, at least the training was paid.

The road may be difficult and there may be storms you have to surpass, but you’ll end up stronger with a sense of beauty that made it all worth the sacrifice. – Single Mom Superheroes

Parenting is generally a journey with a lot of twists and turns, uphill battles, etc. It is often thankless and unfortunately when something bad happens with a person, one of the first things usually stated is “I blame the parents”. Parents shape and guide their children, however they do not think for them nor can they always control their actions. Sometimes parents can be partially to blame, depending on the age of the person in question, but not always. Everything is not your always your fault, so do not burden yourself with that type of pressure or guilt. Do your best, learn from your mistakes and those made by others, and ask for help when needed.

How to Tame little body, BIG FUNK

What in the world is little body, big funk? (Yes, I could hear your thoughts.) Well, let’s see. . . . Do you know or have a young child with super strong underarm odor? I mean the type of smell so strong it smells like they must have been reincarnated because their underarms smell like they were from a previous life! That’s little body, big funk.

I have encountered it on multiple occasions. The first time caught me by surprise when a child I was babysitting overnight had it. I was completely floored that a little kid could smell like a bag of rotten onions under their arms at the age of 5. I’ve been around several children who weren’t even close to puberty and after puberty hit, LOOK OUT! In some instances, even the strongest deodorants were lucky if they were able to tame the vicious armpits for 18 hours, even when it was designed to last for more than 24.

Well, if you know someone who has this issue, don’t worry this post is to help you completely resolve it or at the VERY least TAME it. I have a recommendation for you that I have purchased and suggested for others and they have had a lot of success. The product that I am going to suggest helps with numerous things such as unwanted foot and body odor, body acne, flaky and itchy scalp, fungal issues, etc. It is also used by kids, teens, and adults. It is used by a lot of athletes and people who are very active to prevent Athletes Foot. I’ve also heard it is used to prevent lice.

Some may find this issue embarrassing and it can result in social isolation, anxiety, and sadly even bullying. Nowadays, people seem to get bullied for just about everything under the sun, but I digress.

Now first things first, if you have a prepubescent child with strong body odor, they need to be examined by a medical professional to rule out any possible conditions that may need to be treated or further examined. Some things to consider are whether there have been any changes lately that could have contributed to the odor, such as diet or even products used on the skin. If so, you may want to have this information and share it your medical provider during the visit. A handy tool may be to have a food diary to see what may be causing the issue if it is food related. If you are a person who is never without their phone, it is probably best to store the information in your phone somewhere, so you’ll have it handy when needed. Also noted any questions you may want to ask during the visit would be good, just to make sure your concerns or questions are addressed without leaving the appointment then remembering something after the fact. People do this all the time, trust me, I used to be the one a lot of people asked after the fact. The main problem was, I was not a person at the appointment, so I was definitely not the person who needed to be asked.

I do have an answer to this dilemma, and I recommend this body wash at https://amzn.to/37VHqAf because I am a definite witness of how well it works. As with anything new, I recommend a patch test prior to full use, especially in small children. You always want to make sure there is no allergic reaction or irritation or anything if you’re sensitive to any of the ingredients. Don’t be afraid, this is standard for anything new as a precaution. I know kids with sensitive skin who were fine and were able to use it without any issues.

If you decide to try it, please don’t hesitate to share your experience. It’s all about us helping each other!

Single MOM Superheroes

P.S. You don’t have to be a single mom to be a super hero, REAL moms (dads too) are heroes REGARDLESS of whether it is biologically or otherwise.

Hello fellow superheroes! This blog is a dedication to ALL moms and will contain some useful information, stories, resources, and tools. I highlight single moms for various reasons which will become very clear in future posts, some of which may be considered surprising and even raise a few eyebrows.

I’m going to include the definition of single parent below just to clear up any misconceptions about what I am and will be referring to later. No side eye needed lol, this is merely because some people have different opinions as to what the term means and each definition is not the same.

A single parent is a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a spouse or live-in partner. Reasons for becoming a single parent include divorce, break-up, abandonment, death of the other parent, childbirth by a single woman or single-person adoption. – Wikipedia

I’m Nina and I want to take the time to recognize those who often do not receive much recognition, but put in a lot of work in what often feels like daunting tasks. I have experienced a lot throughout my life, both as a child and as an adult, and I believe these experiences allow me to be able to help others. I look forward to sharing some of these with you and I will also allow others to share their experiences so we can help each other with some of the most important roles in life, which is shaping the lives of others.